Since women have been dreaming about their wedding ever since they were young, let’s look at this reality in the marital life of one single Arabic man and his wives.
Wife #1. Khadijah was 40 years old, owned her own business, and was wealthy. She hired a young man, aged 25 named Muhammad, to work for her. Though she was widowed twice with three children, he asked her to marry him and then had six children together. She was his only wife until she died at 65 years old. Muhammad was then 49.
Wife #2. Soon after the death of his first wife, he still being 49 years old, Muhammad found Sawda, aged 40, and bid her to wed. He was unpopular and bankrupt. He called her “fat and very slow” over the years, obviously no longer an attractive woman to him. He considered divorcing her but she bargained with him to keep her in the house even though there was no longer intimacy between them. He found other wives with whom she lived side-by-side.
Wife #3. Aisha was six years old, playing on the see-saw and with her dolls. The best friend of her father, aged 49, sought for her hand in marriage. She was only six years old and now betrothed! He initiated sexual intercourse with her at nine years old. Bye bye Barbie. She soon became his favorite wife though he acquired several others.
Wife #4. Hafsa was about 19 years old. Her father was very wealthy and his friend, aged 52, asked for her hand in marriage. What could she say? He was her father’s friend. She became his 3rd concurrent (living) wife.
Wife #5. Zaynab was a middle-class widow. She was committed to charity work and helping the poor. The suitor, aged 52, though just married one month previously to a teenager, asked for her hand in marriage for her to be his 4th concurrent wife. She passed away seven months later.
Wife #6. Umm Salama was an attractive widow with four young children. Her aristocratic family did not support the violent Islamic religion she felt was healthy for her own lifestyle choices. Though she was an educated woman, even a noble teacher of this misunderstood religion, she delightfully chose to marry a sex-ridden Islamic man of cruelty whose fourth wife passed away six months prior. She became the 4th wife’s replacement.
Wife #7. Zaynab (bint Jahsh) came to Islam young, working in leather crafts and then married a certain man who was adopted. Actually, she was the biological cousin to her adopted husband’s father Muhammad. Due to a family fued, her father-in-law forced him to divorce her (shameful) and then caused her to marry himself (his father, also her cousin) instead, justifying the marriage on several ludicrous accounts. She was the 5th concurrent wife to this “prophet”.
Slave #1. Rayhana’s first husband was beheaded among 600-900 men by the “prophet” Muhammad. All the women including her were enslaved, but lucky for her, the same prophet (who had killed her husband) chose her because of her beauty. Although she refused to marry him, he still kept her as his concubine. Sex slavery became her destiny.
Wife #8. Juwayriyah was the daughter of a chief, taken prisoner when the opposing leader Muhammad attacked her tribe. Apparently the beauty of Juwayriyah captivated this leader and he married her. She became his sixth wife.
Wife #9. Ramlah (Umm Habiba) was the daughter of a Meccan chief who led the resistance against another leader Muhammad, and converted to Islam as a teenager. That chief married her as his seventh wife. Because she was of the opposition, her husband’s political humiliation retreated by demonstrating that he could command the loyalty of his adversary’s own daughter (Ramlah). She was devoted to her enemy, now her husband, and quick to pick quarrels with people who were not on her side (her family’s tribe actually).
Wife #10. Safiyah was the beautiful daughter of a Jewish chief. On the day the enemy Muhammad defeated the last tribe of her people, he married her only hours after he had supervised the slaying of her second husband. Her now husband had previously killed her father, brother, first husband, three uncles and several cousins. This marriage did not benefit her defeated tribe, who were then banished a few years later; the marriage was really a political display that her now husband could demonstrate that he had defeated his enemies.
Wife #11. She was a middle-class widow from Mecca who proposed marriage to this leader. As a placid woman who kept a very tidy house, Maymuhan was completely obsessed with rules and rituals.
Slave #2. Mariyah was one of several slaves whom the Governor of her country sent as a present to this leader. She was kept as a concubine despite the objections of his official wives, who was afraid of her beauty. Jealousy and envy stalked her constantly inside her own home.
Let envy and jealousy be put away far from each one. These stem from the bitter heart and each woman is beautiful and loved in just who she is. Each woman deserves honor and love from her husband.
Divorced Wife #12. Mulaykah’s family resisted the invasion of their city. Needing to appease the conqueror, they gave her as a bride to the leader Muhammad. When she realized that her husband’s army had killed her father, she demanded a divorce, which he granted. She died a few weeks later.
Divorced Wife #13. Fatima Al-Aliya was the daughter of a minor chief who had converted to Islam. Muhammad divorced her after only a few weeks under the claim that “she peeked at men in the mosque courtyard.” She had to work for the rest of her life as a dung-collector, and she outlived all of Muhammad’s widows.
Patience and understanding is a virtue, a necessary one in any marriage. Though we do not know the full story here, the legal grounds for divorce only include sexual immorality (adultery), which is not found in any written accounts.
Divorced Wife #14. Asma was a princess from Yemen whose family hoped that marrying her to Muhammad would ward off a military invasion. Her political husband divorced her before consummating the marriage after one of his other wives tricked her into reciting the divorce formula. She later married the brother of one of Muhammad’s other wives.
Once again, the only grounds for divorce are sexual immorality, not a spoken word. The tongue is deceitful and full of many wicked evils. It can speak well of one and shame another in the same sentence. We are to be very cautious and careful of our language so as not to wound another, for after a wound is created, there becomes a need for repentance, words of love, and kindness to heal the wounded heart.
Slave #3. Al-Jariya was a domestic slave who became a present to Muhammad. She seemed to be an “unofficial” concubine who did not have a regular turn on her husband’s roster.
Divorced Wife #15. Amra was a Bedouin of no political importance. Muhammad divorced her before consummation when he saw symptoms of leprosy on her. This was Muhammad’s fourth and last divorce.
True love conquers all and believes all. Love can also help heal any wounds or infirmities.
Slave #4. Tukana was a member of a defeated Qurayza tribe whom her master-to-be (Muhammad) selected as one of his personal sex slaves (number four). She appeared to have been another “unofficial” concubine without a regular turn on his roster. After Muhammad died, she married his uncle.
Others. There wer 14 failed engagements and/or broken marriage contracts. In each, either the bride died before Muhammad could wed her, or he found her ugly, sick, or unappealing; therefore, not sealing the marriage partnership in these 14 cases.
Others 2. There were ten marriage proposals presented to Muhammad over the years that he declined. Either the bride was too elderly, was seeking to be one of his many wives, or she was related to him by blood and then he decided it probably would not be the best option to pursue.
The wife is to be seen as an equal helpmate to the husband. She has gifts, skills, and qualities that the man does not have. Though her physical strength be measured smaller, her inner strength is to be dignified and honored by her husband. When the two work together as in a team, they are seen to be stronger together than would be apart. Now that is a fulfilled marriage!
— All of these marriage options as a “wife” were realistic for the same man, who had a record 11 wives at the same time, also among his sex slaves.
— The Quran legally affords a man: three or four wives (Q 4:3).
Wisdom is found in her children. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom. Those who seek wisdom will find her, and those who seek to honor others over themselves will find greater blessing in that. Seek to honor, love, and respect the one to whom you are married. Pray for him/her so that there is a mutual benefit between your interactions and relationship.
It’s time to wake up from this marriage nightmare and for husbands to follow a different leader.